Journal 59: Choices

        Yes, I do think that is true that our choices revel who we truly are, far more than our abilities. Our abilities only revel how much we can do, it is our skills that help us through life. However, our choices determines our future and who we are. I had made a choice that I want to in the American system and this greatly change my life and future. This revels that I am welling to take challenge, welcomes changes and holds on to the chance when it comes. I wanted a change, I don’t want to be in the Taiwan system where people memorize facts instead of actually understand them. I dare to challenge the rules set by high rank officials and take my action to show it. Even though I was only 12 then, I do think and thank myself for making this choice. I may look back and thought of what may happen if my choice was different but, again, I don’t regret my decision.

       An other reason for my choice was that I made a promise to my friends in American that I would come back one day. I said I was going to U.S. for college and we will meet again one day. I think my this also shows that I am keeping my promise.  

Journal 58: Free Write

      We are free to write everything we wanted today. I am going to talk about the English class we had. It is one of the most fun one because all we do is chat all class long. We went from dramas that happened between us to how our parents react when it comes to boys.

     One thing I didn’t really say is that I suddenly start thinking about how I am not even in the consideration. So I am out of the whole thing, well, that is probably something I should be glad about. However it just made me sad to think about the fact that I am not in the consideration. “Whatever,” I kept on telling myself. The feeling didn’t just go away like I asked it to do.

      I don’t know, it feels like I am easily angered these few days, maybe because I am barely getting any sleep. I had a super busy weekend with really tight schedule that allows me just enough time to get from one activity to another. I slap at 2 yesterday to finish my English extra credits, I don’t know why I feel like I have to finish it yesterday because the dead line is Friday. In fact, I don’t even aim to start and finish it yesterday, I just don’t feel like to stop.  

      I know I am talking non since over here, just went from on topic to another without any logic. It is kind of like how I talk to Necky, my poor friend that I haven’t talk to for years. It is still different because I take this as writing journal and doing homework, I never thought you as a friend. It feels weird just now that I am saying “you” and also you will be look at, unlike Necky. My dearest, best friend ever.  

Journal 57: Sea Fever

      I do understand the feeling the poet had for the sea better than what I used to before I read the poem. However I still don’t really understand how people could be so obsesses about the life on sea and I don’t think I will ever understand unless I have spend some time on the sea myself.

    For me, there is probably one thing that I have “fever” about, that it MAYDAY!!!! Oh god, I love them, in fact, I love him. Aishin (阿信), he is so talented! He could sing, write most of the song he sang, and he could even play guitar. Most important of all, HE IS SO FREAKING HANDSOME!!!!!! It made me happy just to think about him, it is probably a bad idea to talk about what I am obsesses with in class because all I had in mind was him and it become impossible for me to focus. The Mayday’s songs are all really inspiring and I really love Aishin’s voice. In fact, I had just stand 5 hours in a concert just to see him. I finally saw him after 5 hours of standing, I was so close that I can see his face. Never was I so close to any star at any time, so lucky that the fist time I am so close to any star, it was Aishin. YAYEE!!

Journal 56: Public Speaking

    There are people that do like to go on stage than others but I do believe that everyone have stage fright. There are a lot of example that the talkative ones are very quit and shy on the stage. This is a perfect example of how people are afraid to go on stage even if they’re used to talk with others. Being on stage is a nervous thing because everyone’s attention is on you, and what ever you do is being exam with a magnifying glass. Even if it is just a small mistake, people might talk about it for weeks and you will lose all your reputations. So the tension increase with the number of audiences there are, talking in front of the school could be a very frightening thing.

    For me, it is a lot easier to talk in normal way then poems because I feel more comfortable talking in the way I talk to my friends. I can pretend all the audience are not that and I am just talking to my friend, which improve my performance. If there are enough audience that I can’t see particular anyone’s face and I don’t know the audience, I feel less nervous too.  

Journal 55: The Inspiration of Sounds

     Sounds themselves are very specials waves because there is always something behind the sound. The sound of mom humming reminds us of our childhood which relates to the feeling of safe and those stress-less times. The sound of my last ring tone brings up all my memories with my ex-boy friend. Sounds are never just sounds because something cause the sound to appear and that something could be meaningful.

    One very big thing about sounds is songs, they are everywhere, with the history farther than those human had recorded and more symbolic, meaningful than any other things on the Earth. I am not going to talk about the meanings behind songs because that will take forever and it is too easy. I am here to just talk about sounds.

     Some sound that are painful to me is the content dentist machine sound. I used to be afraid to go to dentist like any other child so even now, it still makes me feel painful to hear the noise. One very pleasant sound is the sound of the water, it is the sound that I will never be tire of, the sound that is pleasant themselves with very pleasant associations. The sound of the water represent nature which is very beautiful itself and farther pleasing with all the wonderful memories about nature. An other thing that makes the sound of the water so pleasing is it represents cooking which leads me to think of food that makes me very happy.

Journal 54: Travel

           When traveling, the number one thing people concern about, other than the money that they have to pay, is the safety of the trip. People now a days usually don’t worry about the safety of the trip any more, instead we worry more about the comfort because we trust the transportation a lot more then what people used to. Some other concerns that may occur are, that they forget anything on the way or things being stolen or for those who don’t know directions very well, to get lost. Another big thing in traveling is to be on time, or else you will have to re-buy the ticket and there might not be spots on the transportation.

         I usually don’t worry about being lost in the station because I am okey with directions, I can read and I am not afraid of ask for help. As long as you are able to ask for help, you’re never going to be lost. I guess I am a person that usually don’t worry too much cause I am not concern of forget things or things being stolen either because I can always buy things on the way and I will count as they need it more than I do when things are stolen. The only thing I am more concern about is the safety of the trip. You might wonder why, such a non-concern people like me, would worry about the things people least worry about. It is because that I often need to get home late, by bus or by taxi. As a 15 years old girl, I think it would be weird if I am not worry about my own safety, taking a taxi alone 10 at night. Everything else like the plan or train, I just enjoy the trip and solemn worry about anything. 

Journal 53: Write a Sonnet

It who accompany: 


Can't we just be ourselves? 
Pressure from all six directions
Human, don't know but are slaves 
Locked inside the expectations 
Struggle under eyes of other
Curve here, thin there, sexy this, brawny that
Knowing the best pays with bitter 
What a showy, popular but fancy act
Perform so hard, shines and claps 
Line between, actor and act faint 
Act beyond actor, mock him and...slaps  
Contempt he who cover with paint
Who ever fears to show shall be ashamed
It who accompany shall not be blame 

Journal 52: Respond to Shakespeare

Dear William,

         I am so glad to hear those words. I must have been very lucky to have the word’s greatest poet to write for me. It feels like heaven to own poems like this. Knowing someone thinks I am fairer than summer day is such a wonderful thing, but I am floating in the sky to know you are the one who think so. Oh how I dare not to wish such thing. My fairness is going to last as long as men lives and literate because you, Shakespeare, wrote it down. Thank you, it is the best birthday gift ever, far beyond my expectation.

      Although it is great to know what you think, I think I will barely be seen, standing beside the summer day. Sweet and soft it is, not like me, who is full of week points. Please not over exenterate things that aren’t true. We both know you lost the dare. Do not make the sonnet so fine like this, I will actually believe it and think it is true. Thank you still for you had just made the best birthday I ever had and ever will have.

Wish you for the best,

Me

p.s. remember not to take dares so seriously next time

Journal 51: Heart!

     Dickson had use figure of speech to describe her heart as one who she can talk to, as one of her friends that are on the same boat with her. I think she decide to separate her heart from her mind in the poem because it represents two very different aspects in love. They are logic and feelings, heart describes the feeling part of the relationship while the mind describes the logic. Some people put logic before the feelings others are the opposite. When she say “You may forget the warmth he gave,/I will forget the light,” she separates the two parts a female needs from the male or two reasons females need the males. The heart and feelings need the physical warmth they gave. The mind and logic need the light, in here indicated the smartness or the knowledge.

    Yes I had tried to separate my feelings from my thoughts and it doesn’t work out too well because my feelings and my thoughts actually all come from my mind. However learning this skill would be very helpful when people needs to separate the personal judgment from the judgment they gave in business. Using this idea all the time could also be bad because there are some things that don’t have any logic towards in, people did it just because. You may seem weird and have no friend if you used this idea all the time. 

Journal 50: Tanka Poem

sky, clear and sea blue 
waves tickle on the sand
see through, warm water 
shells scatter on clean sand 
sparky light jump everywhere

corner, small and dark
sad little body curve up 
with no one but dull 
tears racing down her face
non-stop crying, and subbing

still and clear water
surrounded by dark green trees   
cloudless, light blue sky 
all perfectly duplicate
on the mirror lake water